An Open Letter to Ken Mehlman

Here in this post, I am going to do something I have not had the opportunity to do before:  I am going to offer you something written by someone else as the thrust of my post. This was written by one of my Prop 8 Trial Tracker family to Ken Mehlman on the day he came out of the closet.  I hope all of you learn something from this.

Thanks,

Richard

AN OPEN LETTER TO KEN MEHLMAN ON THE DAY HE CAME OUT

August 26, 2010

Dear Mr. Mehlman:

Congratulations on your decision to come out of the closet. It’s exciting, isn’t it? And how refreshing and invigorating – how empowering to breathe fresh air and to feel your soul awaken! It’s no longer enough to merely exist and get through the day, but to really, really feel life again with all its gifts: To see the colors, smell the aromas, taste the food and know once more what it is to be a live, living – and loving! – human being.

But can I tell you something? I am not buying it from you just yet. Yes, I know from experience how suffocating the closet is, and how it slowly kills the soul, one cell, one breath, one atom at a time. I do sympathize. However, there is a significant difference between us: YOU had a position of power, and you turned it not only against yourself, but against me, and my partner, and my friends. I am still resentful of the harm you helped create, so be patient with my skepticism.

(Psst. Now can I tell you something else? I was once a Republican. I still believe in small government, lower taxes, individual freedom and responsibility, self-determination and most of all, the Constitution of this great country. But you lost me years ago:

When I watched my friends die of AIDS while President Reagan refused to even speak the word, I started to question my allegiance.

When religious zealots began to direct the party’s agenda, I backed away with mounting alarm.

When Republicans – under President Bush and Karl Rove and your leadership – decided they could USE ME, my partner and my friends AS A WEDGE to divide this country to attain more power, you lost me for good.

So to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I did not leave the Republican Party – the party left me. In fact, it not only left me, it trampled me underfoot and stomped on my back on its way to power. I can take a hint; I know when I am no longer wanted. Once you threw me out, I left and vowed never to return. I am not a wedge, and neither are my friends. We will not be used as one.)

And yet, today as you come out of the closet, I find myself sitting up and listening to you. Do you want to convince me of your good intentions? Most people look for actions to back up their words of apology. You know that bit about how actions speak louder than words?

There are three things I will need to see from you before I can take your words to heart: Regret. Responsibility. Repair.

1) Publicly voice your Regret for using the LGBT community as a political wedge during past campaigns. Show publicly and repeatedly what the closet does. Start by offering yourself as an example. You sat in meetings with Rove as he formulated a plan to demonize the LGBT community to win votes. Now the public needs to hear and understand that this is un-American. And it is wrong.

2) Take Responsibility for the harm you helped cause. Whether or not you actively took part in the strategizing, you were *there* when Rove used gay marriage as a fear tactic during those election cycles. As a result, discriminatory laws against your own fellow Americans were written into many state constitutions. In this case, your silence was indeed consent. Now you need to own your part of it. A whimper of an excuse that you privately “tried to push back” does not convince me.

3) Repair the damage. Go into each state that enacted anti-LGBT laws during the Bush/Rove years and actively work to undo those same laws. Put your mouth and money and connections to work. Let Justices Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Alito know what you have done, the part you played and what you plan to do now to right the wrongs. Renounce and denounce homophobic groups such as National Organization for Marriage, Alliance Defense Fund, Focus on the Family (it has already renounced the Republican Party anyway) and other groups of their kind.

Do you want to really impress me and my friends? Start with Texas: Remove the homophobia from that state’s GOP party platform. Laura Bush already has said she supports marriage equality. And if, as you say, George W. Bush is no homophobe, then enlist President and Mrs. Bush to help get your message out.

Because today, I can’t seem to forget that the president of my country stood in the Rose Garden at a press conference and announced that he supported an amendment that would  treat me as “something less-than” in our nation’s Constitution and courts.

So if President Bush is, as you say, no homophobe, then bring him into this conversation – now! Homophobia, gay-baiting and fear-mongering against Americans does not belong in any party platform. Who better to say this than a former president who is a Republican and an avowed Christian at that?

So let your repair work start in Texas.

All of this goes far beyond raising $750,000 at a private fundraiser that most of the public will never know about. There must be visible, measurable and widespread communication with all of America if you want to get my attention and keep it. Show me all of that and you might see me come back your way.

I am glad to see you take your first steps out of the closet today. Enjoy this time, revel in it, breathe in that clean, fresh, invigorating air, and celebrate coming alive again. Open your soul to all that expression of love and humanity.  I share in your joy. But at the same time, do your part to help me and my friends – your fellow Americans – gain those freedoms and protections that are ours by virtue of our nation’s Constitution.

While today I can share your excitement and appreciate your honesty, I am also watching and paying close attention to your follow-up, Mr. Mehlman, including your donations and the candidates you support, and their positions. Under our Constitution, equality before the law is not a party issue, and it does not get put up to a vote. You are in a unique position to say that now – clearly, loudly and proudly.

Dave in Altadena, CA

Again, this letter was written by part of the P8TT family, and is reprinted here with permission, and with the hope that more people discover just how harmful all forms of discrimination are.

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