Originally posted at Prop 8 Trial Tracker:

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By Richard Walter-Jernigan

Hello! It’s Richard here. Most of you here know me since I am one of the earliest sign-ons to the P8TT family. And yes, to me it is a family. Within our online family, I feel so secure in being myself, and I have learned so much here. Kathleen, Ann S. Carpool Cookie, Trish, and our other legal eagles have shared from their own knowledge of the law and also shared so many links to other law resources that I feel I have almost finished law school under their tutelage, and I am so grateful for that. Michelle and Marlene have expanded my knowledge of transgender issues so that I am even better prepared to help fight to make sure my trans brothers and sisters are not thrown under the bus at every turn. Ronnie has helped turn me into a Gleek and a Gaga fan! Sheryl, Mormon Mother of a Wonderful Son Who Just Happens to be Gay, Santa Barbara Mom, and others have taught me so much about the LDS church and its inner workings. Fiona, LLB, AnonyGrl, Kathleen, Sheryl Carver, Kate, and the other ladies, whether they are gay, bi, trans, or straight, have all helped me grow in my understanding of women’s issues. Franck, Felyx&Kevyn, and our other couples have taught me why UAFA is so important, and from what I have learned in this family, all of you have contributed to re-awakening my activist side.

In addition, all of you have witnessed the evolution of my relationship with BZ, as demonstrated through the changes in my handle here since I first joined. I started out as Richard A. Walter, then as we began to work on the logistics and finances of going to a marriage equality state, you saw my handle change to Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan) and since BZ’s birthday in November, you have now seen my handle as Richard A. Jernigan. Right now, that is only my legal name in those states which will recognize our Connecticut wedding, but I am not changing back, because we are in a state of flux with the tide rolling ever more insistently toward marriage equality. DK even showed up in Westbrook at our wedding and reported back to the rest of the P8TT family and I later provided a YouTube link so that those who could not attend could watch the videos.

And on the P8TT board itself, we have grown to be so much more than just the Prop 8 trial. We have covered DOMA, ENDA, DADT, UAFA, and other events that at first may not appear to be related, but actually are related. And as a family, we have dealt with trolls, spam artists and those who may be making an honest effort to learn more about the Rainbow Tribe in their own efforts to end discrimination. We have grown as a community and as a family. We have shared about births, deaths, engagements, marriages, and all of the other ups and downs of life. And we even call each other out when any of us get out of line. And we cheerfully welcome our lurkers with a virtual table of cookies, challah, MILK, and whatever other goodies we can put on that table.

All of this and more is why this family is so important to me, and why I think it is important to all of us. This is our online home. We know we are safe here. We know that each of us has everybody else’s back. We know that there will be occasional misunderstandings and squabbles. Hey, that’s what happens in families, both online and offline. But we have all moved forward, and we have been there together.We have learned exactly what we can accomplish as a family when we get out there and vote. We have learned what happens when we send emails, snail mails, and make telephone calls. WE have learned what kind of power we can wield. Let’s keep this going.

I know that very few of us like pitches for money. But this one is important. Each of us is able to contribute in different ways at different times, and right now, those of us who have the means are needed for some financial contributions. Some of us can send money now, some cannot. Most of us have contributed before now and will do so again in the future as finances permit. For those who can contribute now, please feel free to help keep the lights on here at P8TT. And if you have already (or can’t), ask someone you know. Thanks.

P.S.: Whether you are able to send money now or in the future, I want everyone here in the P8TT family to know that in one way or another you are all on my list of heroes and sheroes.

That is how I am feeling right now, knowing that FINALLY, DADT has been repealed, and that members of our armed forces can no longer be thrown out simply for being honest about who they are and who they love. Granted we still have those who have absolutely no concept of what our military is like who are now trying to foment resistance and are trying to hatch devious plots to overthrow the repeal. These are people who absolutely refuse to look at the facts, who refuse to thoroughly examine the results of the study that was conducted by the Pentagon and which received a much higher response rate than surveys normally receive. Believe me folks, I have studied business, and one of the classes I had to take involved statistics. Most surveys only receive a response rate of between 2% and 3%. This survey received a response rate of 28%! And 70% of the military members and their families stated that it was time to get rid of this asinine, discriminatory piece of junk! But that was not good enough! NOt for John McCain! NOt for Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, which is now one of the most recent additions to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s list of Hate Groups. Not good enough for Mitch McConnell!

And why? Because they are so obsessed with sex, that they are totally ignoring the fact that they are dealing with REAL PEOPLE! People like John McCain, Tony Perkins, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Eugene DelGaudio, Porno Pete LaBarbera–they are all part of the problem, not part of the solution. They want to see this country turned into a theocracy and they want to be the ones to lay down the rules that everyone else must follow. And yet, they forget about the Establishment Clause of the United States Constitution which forbids that very thing. This nation is a nation founded upon the principles of individual freedoms and rights–the right to freedom of (and therefore also the freedom FROM) religion, the freedom of speech (but not the freedom to have an audience), the freedom of association, the freedom to love the person who absolutely, totally, 100% makes you feel even happier that you already are. This is a nation founded on the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Declaration of Independence does NOT say “Life, LIberty and The Pursuit of Happiness only if you are straight and belong to MY church.” NO! It says “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”. PERIOD! End of sentence! Get that through your head NOM, FRC, Focus on the Family, Public Advocate, and all the rest of you out there who are still trying to oppress the LGBT population of this country.

Get this through your heads–we are not asking for “special rights.” We are asking for the very same rights that all other Americans enjoy. We are asking for the right to have job security without fear of being fired simply because we are married to someone of the same gender, without worrying that we will be fired if we happen to have been born transgender or intersex. We are asking for the right to buy the house we can afford without being discriminated against. For all of the ways in which you think we are asking for special rights, take the time to actually do this little exercise. For every negative comment you have about the LGBT civil Rights Movement that you have in your mind, have ever heard, or have ever written down, delete LGBT and substitute “Black”  or “Jewish.” Substitute “Left-Handed” or “Redhead.” Do that and you will see just how false your assumptions about us are.

And for those of you who so wrongly assume that just because LGBT men and women no longer have to hide their orientation that there will now be sexual assaults committed by LGBT’s on heterosexuals, pay very close attention. 98% of all sexual assaults, sexual harassment, and sexual coercion, including those which involve the “date rape” drugs, are committed by heterosexuals who have never been taught how to think with the head on top of their shoulders. Actually go back and read the reports of the lesbians who have been raped because the men raping them attempted to “cure” them. You cannot cure what is not sick. Once everyone realizes that being different is NOT a sin, that being different is NOT a crime, that being different is NOT abnormal, then this country will be one step closer to the ideals of founding Fathers and Founding Mothers.

Let’s see. From Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur on, it has been a whirlwind, to say the least. Not only trying to find Yartzeit candles, but also trying to get the things we needed for Sukkot and Chanukkah. For those who are not Jewish, Chanukkah came early this year. IN fact, this evening we will light seven candles, and tomorrow at sundown we will light the eighth and final set of candles. Also, for those who are wondering why Chanukkah candles are sold in boxes of 45, it is because of how they are lit each night. You see, once you light the candles, you are forbidden to blow them out. Therefore you need to replace them each night before the lighting and blessings. There is also the fact that on the last night, you actually have nine candles lit, including the Shammas (helper) candle. Therefore when you light the candles for Chanukkah, you are lighting as follows:

Night one: 2 candles

NIght two: 3 candles

Night three: 4 candles

Night four: 5 candles

Night five: 6 candles

Night six: 7 candles

Night seven: 8 candles

Night eight: 9 candles

Add this all together and you have 2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=44, and there is always one extra one in the box in case one of the candles is either broken or has a wick that is too short to light.

But the reason Chanukkah helped to run our scheduling here haywire is that this year it began at sundown on the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, which only left us six days to get ready for this holiday after burning the buzzard. And then there was also the time it took to recover after our out-of-state trip the week before Thanksgiving. We went to Pennsylvania to see some friends, and from there we took a trip to Westbrook, Connecticut. And it was the trip to Westbrook, Connecticut, that was the most emotional part of that whole week. You see, this trip was our wedding trip. Yes, you heard me right. We are now legally married, with a ketubah and the certificate of marriage issued by the town clerk’s office of Westbrook, Connecticut.

And let me tell you, folks, Joan and her assistant clerks in Westbrook, Connecticut, are just the sweetest ladies, and I mean ladies.  When BZ and I arrived at the town clerk’s office, it was just a few minutes past 4pm EST. Our wedding was scheduled to begin at 5pm, so I was really glad to see that there was nobody in line ahead of us for anything.

When we entered, one of the assistant clerks came out from behind her desk and asked, “may I help you?” When I shyly said, “Marriage license,” you would have thought I had just handed those three ladies the winning Powerball ticket AND the winning MegaMillions ticket together as a package. They all got so excited you would have thought it was one of them getting married. And they went to work very quickly, too. Joan (the elected town clerk) came out and asked if we had an officiant. When I told her who it was, she asked if we had called her yet to let her know we were in town. I had to be honest and let her know that I had forgotten to put her number in my cell phone. She said, “That’s okay. I’ll call her for you.” Within something less than 15 minutes, we had our marriage license and were on our way to the home of Justice of the Peace Nancy S. Carlson, and she only added to how wonderful the day was. She was also excited about our wedding, and was just so charming and supportive.

Of course, while we were in the Town Clerk’s office, I had to avail myself of the kleenex that were there. You see, as we were there getting our paperwork it suddenly hit me that here I was, about to marry the man I love, and when I was growing up, I had dreamed of this day, while knowing it would never happen. And to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of marrying the man I love, and to actually be getting married FOR LOVE, not for the tax breaks, just totally overwhelmed me, and the tears began to flow like a river during a heavy rainfall. And as you will see in the videos below, it happened again in Nancy’s parlor during the wedding. For those who think that we cannot love, and that CU’s and DP’s are the same thing, watch the videos below.

Part One of Four:

Part Two of Four:

Part Three of Four:

Part Four of Four (signing the ketubah):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqs27m7CSXo

For those readers who are not Jewish, the ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract. This contract spells out how the husband is to treat his spouse, and if he violates that ketubah, he can be taken to court (rabbinical or civil) and it will hold up.

Hope you enjoy the videos!

Shalom and Be Well!

Richard A. Jernigan

Thanks,

Richard

AN OPEN LETTER TO KEN MEHLMAN ON THE DAY HE CAME OUT

August 26, 2010

Dear Mr. Mehlman:

Congratulations on your decision to come out of the closet. It’s exciting, isn’t it? And how refreshing and invigorating – how empowering to breathe fresh air and to feel your soul awaken! It’s no longer enough to merely exist and get through the day, but to really, really feel life again with all its gifts: To see the colors, smell the aromas, taste the food and know once more what it is to be a live, living – and loving! – human being.

But can I tell you something? I am not buying it from you just yet. Yes, I know from experience how suffocating the closet is, and how it slowly kills the soul, one cell, one breath, one atom at a time. I do sympathize. However, there is a significant difference between us: YOU had a position of power, and you turned it not only against yourself, but against me, and my partner, and my friends. I am still resentful of the harm you helped create, so be patient with my skepticism.

(Psst. Now can I tell you something else? I was once a Republican. I still believe in small government, lower taxes, individual freedom and responsibility, self-determination and most of all, the Constitution of this great country. But you lost me years ago:

When I watched my friends die of AIDS while President Reagan refused to even speak the word, I started to question my allegiance.

When religious zealots began to direct the party’s agenda, I backed away with mounting alarm.

When Republicans – under President Bush and Karl Rove and your leadership – decided they could USE ME, my partner and my friends AS A WEDGE to divide this country to attain more power, you lost me for good.

So to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I did not leave the Republican Party – the party left me. In fact, it not only left me, it trampled me underfoot and stomped on my back on its way to power. I can take a hint; I know when I am no longer wanted. Once you threw me out, I left and vowed never to return. I am not a wedge, and neither are my friends. We will not be used as one.)

And yet, today as you come out of the closet, I find myself sitting up and listening to you. Do you want to convince me of your good intentions? Most people look for actions to back up their words of apology. You know that bit about how actions speak louder than words?

There are three things I will need to see from you before I can take your words to heart: Regret. Responsibility. Repair.

1) Publicly voice your Regret for using the LGBT community as a political wedge during past campaigns. Show publicly and repeatedly what the closet does. Start by offering yourself as an example. You sat in meetings with Rove as he formulated a plan to demonize the LGBT community to win votes. Now the public needs to hear and understand that this is un-American. And it is wrong.

2) Take Responsibility for the harm you helped cause. Whether or not you actively took part in the strategizing, you were *there* when Rove used gay marriage as a fear tactic during those election cycles. As a result, discriminatory laws against your own fellow Americans were written into many state constitutions. In this case, your silence was indeed consent. Now you need to own your part of it. A whimper of an excuse that you privately “tried to push back” does not convince me.

3) Repair the damage. Go into each state that enacted anti-LGBT laws during the Bush/Rove years and actively work to undo those same laws. Put your mouth and money and connections to work. Let Justices Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Alito know what you have done, the part you played and what you plan to do now to right the wrongs. Renounce and denounce homophobic groups such as National Organization for Marriage, Alliance Defense Fund, Focus on the Family (it has already renounced the Republican Party anyway) and other groups of their kind.

Do you want to really impress me and my friends? Start with Texas: Remove the homophobia from that state’s GOP party platform. Laura Bush already has said she supports marriage equality. And if, as you say, George W. Bush is no homophobe, then enlist President and Mrs. Bush to help get your message out.

Because today, I can’t seem to forget that the president of my country stood in the Rose Garden at a press conference and announced that he supported an amendment that would  treat me as “something less-than” in our nation’s Constitution and courts.

So if President Bush is, as you say, no homophobe, then bring him into this conversation – now! Homophobia, gay-baiting and fear-mongering against Americans does not belong in any party platform. Who better to say this than a former president who is a Republican and an avowed Christian at that?

So let your repair work start in Texas.

All of this goes far beyond raising $750,000 at a private fundraiser that most of the public will never know about. There must be visible, measurable and widespread communication with all of America if you want to get my attention and keep it. Show me all of that and you might see me come back your way.

I am glad to see you take your first steps out of the closet today. Enjoy this time, revel in it, breathe in that clean, fresh, invigorating air, and celebrate coming alive again. Open your soul to all that expression of love and humanity.  I share in your joy. But at the same time, do your part to help me and my friends – your fellow Americans – gain those freedoms and protections that are ours by virtue of our nation’s Constitution.

While today I can share your excitement and appreciate your honesty, I am also watching and paying close attention to your follow-up, Mr. Mehlman, including your donations and the candidates you support, and their positions. Under our Constitution, equality before the law is not a party issue, and it does not get put up to a vote. You are in a unique position to say that now – clearly, loudly and proudly.

Dave in Altadena, CA

Again, this letter was written by part of the P8TT family, and is reprinted here with permission, and with the hope that more people discover just how harmful all forms of discrimination are.

Then on Tuesday, we got up, showered, ate breakfast, and got in the truck and headed to Raleigh. We got there just about 15 minutes before the equality rally began, and while NOM was still setting up for their infection. It was a very good day, we outnumbered NOM 255-61, and BZ was interviewed by several TV & radio outlets, plus we were interviewed by one of the NOM Tour Trackers from Courage Campaign, and that video may show up on Courage Campaign’s “Testimony: Equality on Trial” site shortly. We met Arisha and Phyllis with the Tour Tracker, and they are both such lovely ladies.

Then on Wednesday, word came down that Judge Walker was going to rule Thursday on a motion to stay filed by the Defendant-Interveners in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case, so everyone was antsy about that. The ruling was due between 9AM and noon PDT, but it was almost 30 minutes after that. In his ruling, Judge Walker denied the motion for a permanent stay, but stayed this decision until Wednesday 18 August 2010 at 5pm PDT to allow time for the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to consider any motions and other filings related to a stay. Yes, that was disappointing, but it merely shows that Judge Walker is a very astute judge who is making sure to dot all his i’s and cross all his t’s in this case. I mean, he had 8- findings of fact in this case, and in addition to saying that Proposition 8 violated the Due Process and Equal Protection clauses of the US Constitution with regard to sexual orientation, he also ruled that it violated those two clauses based on sexual discrimination. He found that even though suspect classification was merited, it was not necessary in this case, because Proposition 8 did not even survive rational basis review.

And then Friday, we were making preparations not only for Sabbath, but also for a meeting with one of our sons and his daughter to work out details of BZ officiating at her wedding, which will be on New Year’s Day. In a way, I feel that I am getting off a lot easier with this wedding than I did with the last wedding BZ officiated. This time, all I have to do is have our suits finished, and bake two round challahs. Compared to working on the programs and other details while getting ready for Passover, this will be a breeze. Especially since I should hopefully have enough time to get the suits done without rushing on any of the steps.

And I also finally got my email inbox cleared out. I did it by transferring all of the old emails to a file where I can take my time trying to sort all of them out into different categories and actually see which ones I can delete. This will make things a lot easier to take care of and to keep track of.

And now, for the pictures from Tuesday’s rally.

Of course, we also have had various things this week for which we have had to rely on professionals. I had to take my SX4 crossover to get new brakes on the front this week, and BZ had to have one of the tires repaired on his truck. Baruch HaShem they were able to repair the tire, rather than having to replace it, because tires for the truck will run around $350 EACH, and they would have had to order and replace two at the very least.

But other than that, it has been a rather routine week for us. Keeping the house straightened up, catching up on various maintenance projects, and our elation over the decision by Judge Walker in the Prop H8 case, along with the confirmation and swearing in of our newest US Supreme Court Justice, the Honorable Elena Kagan. I am happy to see that happen, especially since now, Justice Ginsberg will have someone with whom she can sling some Yiddish. congratulations, Justice Kagan!

But then there has also been the NOM Tour, and in Atlanta today, Alveda King truly disrespected her late father’s and late uncle’s memories and legacies with her espousal of the latest form of bigotry. She was one of the speakers at the NOM Atlanta stop, and in the interview I was able to watch with her, I am truly surprised that she was able to keep from falling over, because she was spinning and dodging questions so rapidly that I was getting dizzy just listening to her. But I will pray for her, that she will soon see the light, and realize that she will not become extinct, nor will the human race become extinct, just because marriage equality comes to be the law of the land. IN fact, in a few years, I predict that she will try to say she was on the side of marriage equality all along. But by then it will be too late. Too many people will have seen her letter to her aunt, Coretta Scott King, and will have seen the interviews, and many of them will save them to their computers, their DVD’s and CD’s, and their servers, as well as their ethernet ports and backups.

That’s all for now. More when life gives me the time to post.

Shalom and Be Well.

Richard

First off, Judge Vaughan Walker rendered his decision in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case in California. This is the case also referred to as the Prop 8 trial, where there was a federal challenge to the newest amendment to the California state constitution limiting marriage to heterosexual couples. Judge Walker ruled that this was unconstitutional since it violated the Due Process and Equal Protection clauses of the US Constitution. He also stated that laws regarding LGBTQQI rights must meet strict scrutiny in order to be constitutional and that Prop 8 did not even pass muster under the rational review basis. While this is currently headed toward appeal to the 9th Circuit Court, it is a landmark decision in favor of equality, which is what our Constitution and our country are based upon. This case will end up in the SCOTUS, so this will end up having an effect nationwide. In short, marriage equality is coming, meaning that all couples will have the same rights, responsibilities and protections for their spouses, their families, and their relationships, regardless of gender of the spouses. This is our equivalent to Loving v. Virginia.

Also, today, I received a call regarding a job interview that will take place at 1:30pm EDT on Thursday 5 August 2010 (which is today) where I was instructed to bring my driver’s license and my social security card. That tells me that I have probably gotten this job and will be filling out the requisite paperwork. It will be so nice to have a regular check coming in again and to be able to do more for my husband, my mother-in-law and our children and grandchildren.

So, just a brief post today, as I am getting ready to go to bed. But I will be back soon to update you on the interview. Thanks for being here.

Shalom and be well

Richard

His name is Zusha, which is Yiddish for “sweet.” And it definitely fits him. He is just an absolutely adorable little fellow, and he is not only sweet, he is very protective, very loyal, and very spoiled. But then, what is the use in having a puppy if you aren’t going to spoil him, right? He is also very vocal in letting our cocker spaniel know that she is not going to walk all over him. Whenever Shoshanah gets too close to him for his liking, or when she goes nosing around him where he doesn’t want her to, he will growl to warn her, then he will start barking if she doesn’t leave him alone. And don’t let anyone come between him and BZ or he will start growling. The same thing happens if you get in his way when he is trying to follow Mother around her house. And while we avoid the foods that are not good for dogs, he has definitely let us know what foods he does like. He loves fish–tuna, salmon, it really does not matter. And he likes cheese. And if it is sweet, or has milk in it, he likes that too.

But now to the pictures. This poodle has a Coke habit. And no, I do NOT mean the white powder that has people doing crazy things like robberies and murder. I mean the sweet, carbonated liquid that makes everything taste better. Here is the proof.

Now, does he like his Coca-Cola, or what? I do have to admit, I was laughing when I saw this. then a little bit later, I found out that he also like Mountain Dew. And when he sees a Mountain Dew bottle, he knows what it is and what is in it, and will not shut up until he gets some. Of course, he is a very energetic little fellow anyway, and we also keep a bag of Supreme(R) Healthy Max dog treats for Skin and Coat Health, which he also just absolutely cannot seem to get enough of. And he definitely gets to go out for walks every day, and he also gets loved on and talked to. All in all, he is very easy to be around.

More later. Shalom and Be Well.

The judge in Cumberland County Superior Court denied my appeal on the name change, so now we have gone to our local senator and representative here in the North Carolina General Assembly to begin work on a law that would provide exceptions to the one name change per adult law for compelling reasons, such as religion, process of healing from childhood trauma, and so forth. I will keep you posted on that. Of course the General Assembly does not meet again until January, so that is the earliest that we will be in Raleigh for that.

I did not get a role in Rocky Horror Show with the Gilbert Theatre, but will audition for A Christmas Carol when that is announced. I will probably get a role then, because A Christmas Carol has a larger stage Cast than Rocky Horror Show.

I have seen the rough cuts for Food, but am not allowed to share them. I will still have a private screening for family and friends once I get my DVD, and have also been in touch with Thomas about setting up a date and time for those of us who were involved to have a little party.

And speaking of parties, my first Scentsy party as a host went well, even though most of the orders were book orders. Nobody showed up at the house. I am having another party, and this one is strictly an online book order. this way, maybe folks will be more inclined to order since they will know they don’t have to leave the house. there are still a lot of nice things I would like to get from the catalog, and the better the sales, the more I earn as a host.

We have also had to replace the previous washer. It conked out on us, and we had to wait five days for Sears to get one in. Whatever happened to customer service anyway? Sears can definitely do better at making sure the products are available where you need them, when you need them.

Have also been going to various medical checkups. BZ last week, Shoshanah and Chaiah to the vet on Monday, and Mother yesterday. And on top of everything else, still trying to find some solid black homespun to make our kaputes with.

Well, more later. Thanks for reading. Shalom and be well.